Oy to be spirited
The belle and the imperative
To be so enthralling and the life of parties
To never be a bore or a hard stiff
I fear the future weigh on me
That I may turn into dullard me
And wax philosophically
To empty ears and annoyed griefs
The nerd in me repeats the stories
The geek in me guffaws at puns of glories
I yearn to divulge the intricacies
Of computation and MMORPGs
The hours spent learning something new
That never the quo will see or use
And I rush in to give the news
Of technicals and statistic proofs
Of scientific beauty and cosmic clues
The parabolic universe
The lawless wild west multiverse
Leaps and bounds and dimensions
Theories knock around the bends
I gorge myself on new ideas
And take a break to quell the fears
Of becoming too specialized and niche
Of losing touch with common mans
And winding up with android plans
To give to tech what must be shared
The heart and soul that I had bared
But machines and code do not reject
Devices and gizmos give respect
And when technology lets you down
You turn a trick and spin it round
And it all gets a little better yet
When love does weaken and no pet
Relations beckon for warmth and love
Technology asks for cold and deft touch
I don’t control the people with me
I don’t hug machines or metal sets
I may not turn to mechano man
But I could learn to Kinect
You go up there and be a comedian, you think you’re being real and honest like some Bill Hicks or Doug Stanhope. But are you being real or are you acting your whole life? Waiting for the courage for that voice inside you to come out, waiting for a time when you have laurels to actually stand on, waiting still to be a person and stop trying to be one. You’re one of the bros. You say the right things and you follow the social etiquette of the day and this is what makes you the good one in the scenario? I’m the asshole for getting pissed about a perpetual raw deal and venting from time to time, forgetting my senses and social graces and lashing out from pain and sorrow. I said the wrong things but do I spend my time mocking and ridiculing others’ flaws and foibles? Have I been taking the chaff off sensitive souls, throwing them like garlands for the children of the corn? Delighting in making light of mental illness and disabilities?
No I did not do that, I let out anger that was pushed down for years. I scared people and annoyed people and took to rudeness as dew to dawn; vitriolic expulsions and venom carnage spewing on the lot of them like Peter Parkers’ webbing. That cynicism envelops, that misanthropy becomes principle, gorging on hate and fear and planting seedlings inside to burst forth little cretin xenomorphs. An alien unto this world. Past sense, past illusions, partly past the ebb and flow of feelings, shedding respect and bitten tongues. I lurch forth the Hyde and hurl garbled insults at the tavern, at the club, at the meandering masses who I disdained so. Images in my head, prejudices formed and added to by years of mental/emotional assaults and self-esteem whittling, personas and faults splattered onto youngens in line of fire.
Reason abandons in times of need. Hate and anger commits to you and you to them. The dark side is mesmerizing and easy, the chip on the shoulder begs for release asking you to lay into laymen and curse and lash at this younger generation. You yawned at the old ones tsk tsking and lecturing and what have you turned into but another bitter adult annoyed at the ease of the new, the hand fed society, the instantaneous satisfaction built into every facet, every technology brought to market. Little piggies squealing for the goods and expecting it. That’s where the anger came, expectation, no appreciation, arrogance and self-worth from nowhere. No deeds accomplished, no back-breaking work and dirty jobs done. Spoon fed knowledge in the schools, on the web, and my what pride they would have in themselves. Superficially smarter and smugness lurking in those faces. Not everyone but I placed that mantle on all. All faces were smug faces, all talk was condescension and sarcasm. Years of pointed laughter makes minds merry with fret and paranoia.
But I learn, must learn, must evolve. A writhing Caterpie waiting for cocoon coil and fresh release with glitter wings on silver wind. Anger management placed and followed, inner calm on the purview. These mental machinations of aggression and bitchslapping get out of hand but a relief from the gulped aggro. Let me dance internally and let out the Hyde vicariously, supping on dreams of villainy and scorching earth theoretically.
We all have anger and hurt inside us, the goal is to calm, to yield to peace and overcome primal ignorance. Easy said rarely done. More years of meditation and logic to butter battered brain. The better side of valour in the distance and I’m Python walking into it.
I like my technology with buttons. So much of this Dora the Explorer swiping and gesturing like society wants us to turn into mimes only evocative with our hands. Do we need to have everything be touch based like some wish fulfillment of Minority Report? This is the future we envision, how we are to function in modernity, by gesticulating and magna-doodling on our beautiful pristine devices slathering them in our disgusting skin oils. I hate bodily fluids and secretions! There should be no cum, just air or something. So many things filled with invisible life…
But the buttons and knobs are going; the Blackberrys are a dying piece without the market share. These devices that suit my needs are backwards to today’s consumers who require HD video and big ass screens to showcase every picture they take like proud mothers showing their ugly babies. I don’t care, your baby looks weird and that filter doesn’t fix your bland photo of your quesadilla or that cheesecake you treated yourself to because you had so many deadlines this week and you missed Game of Thrones last night. The market has spoken, supply and demand cares not for niche markets. Maybe there’ll be some punk-like cult of button mashers who won’t give up their independence as they gather in a swarm to critique the masses and counter culture the culture counter. Maybe Kickstarter will save us from the engulfing of phablets and this robolove, sensuous touching addiction we have now. Will there be a DSM addition? Obsessive Gadget Eroticism? People saying they’re a real OGE from way back; Swipe Life!
And of course everything is about accepting what’s new now, don’t hate just embrace. You only need certain opinions, don’t be negative brah, stop being nostalgic for the old days that weren’t as good as now. Well, I agree sometimes but I am crotchety like an old man and I complain about the new generation and how things used to be for me on a medium designed for new blood all the time. We have all this social media which is meant, I guess, to provide an outlet for expression and creativity and there’s just a lot of shit and pointless blather that gets tons of views and follows and retweets and likes. It’s like just be good looking and trendy and what you say and post will be interesting, be superfluous and nonpolitical and get tons of people mildly paying attention to your updates while waiting for lattes and buses. We must be occupied, don’t be so serious, don’t dwell on the world’s issues just look at this cat dressed like Pikachu (there’s a lot of fucking Pokemon, enough with Pikachu!).
But yeah, buttons man. Buttons are the shit, and dials and toggles. I want a phone that I can charge with moving cogs so I can work out my forearms and get rid of the limpness. I will not be a nerd stereotype! Excelsior!
I am the very nexus of a neoliberal nerdowell.
I say do what you please as long as you don’t kill.
I geek on stuff my passion cannot quell.
And if my predilection is too much for the common swell.
I’ll find my tribe on the intertubes.
I find my comfort in quantum mechanics and mathematicals.
I loop myself in string theory and big quadrangles.
I sit in four dimensions playing with the hexacube.
And when I’m done I spend hours on Youtube.
Anime and fantasy are my guilty escapism.
I long for the world without any racism.
Where all the living things are free to live.
And it’s not so hard to do the biological imperative.
I squeal at discoveries of scientific experiments.
Sagan, Hawking, Tyson I love all the theorists.
And my goal is to study the firmaments.
Cosmology is the makeup of the universe.
I spend my time writing fanfic of the multiverse.
And if I miss the socializing maybe that is just the nerd’s curse.
If anything I am left wanting for another verse.
I’m happy with my interests and my pastimes thankfully.
It fills me with joy and life so gleefully.
And if this song fills you with jealousy.
Then change your tune and come join me.
I gobble history like turkey jerky
The old ways within me
Be like water homie
Mister masters on my mind and I’m up for days
I rep to the fullest and opine for old days
I’m a Pac Man
And I eat other MCs like pellets
Call me Pac Man
Surfin on sick flows this an infinite ride
Rising star when worlds collide
I come down like lightning
Call me Raiden
Kombat ninja now I be the Gaiden
Jumpin over you to get my piece of the prize
Everyone be all eyez
Birthday cake surprise
Future bright surmise
Can’t you see silver lining skies
I don’t listen to your words
It’s hateration spermiation
Releasing seed or releasing venom
I suckle poisonous guts just to win em
Battle for Seattle
Sleepless chattle and cattle
Wake up America this is the final death rattle
Sicker society sicker of me
Pugnacious pup or iconoclast see
Tear down the walls Gipper
Tear up the laws Ripper
Jack nickels on dinner
Po folks starvin blokes
Marvin marvel black tokes
Acid rain on hollow refrain
Pulpit bull spewing all terrain
They come for ears
Try to allay fears
Speak to ya real nice
Then rob ya thrice
Slick little talkers I run em out
Throwing back demons into the hellmouth