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Sittin listening to Tupac explain his life
Reups and remixes and is he back right?
Can’t help picturing myself with the similar shoulder burdens
No guns and drugs but the memories of pain and loss
Mind blinks back to younger foolhardy
Jerkass soliloquy

Lament with the dark poets and authors struggled with the dark half
Bled out the dark spirits to fill up the manifest
Black blood rushed forth onto pages and paragraphs
Thinking maybe it’ll have its time or maybe timeless
All of us waxing till the candle gives out
Feel a need to bleed this story out
Let it flow manic and dangerous and scrawl the living world in pages
Footnotes in the mind yell out for swiftness
Get it out like virus eating us cancerous
Cells in the blood multiply
Is it demonspawn or Angeldust?
Or we mortals or sanctus spiritus?
Latinate to germinate
Stews inside us amid the boiling pot
Pretty words to mingle with ugliness
Ugliness turned remembrance turned appreciative
If nothing else we’ve lived a life and learned a touch of tenderness

Some turn away from dirt and strife
The people on principle have hard knock lives
But my neck can’t take the constant twists and averted gaze
I tried for a few years and didn’t like what I’d seen
The mirror spoke nothing and eyes saw emptiness
Not even a shell just lingering abandonment
Useless carapace
Wanted to feel more nothing and received the death wish
The soul such dwindling and warmth evading
Spirit within just dissipated for lack of use

No little charity would solve the runaway
Ran from self then left a false self
Created some Rashoman situation where I’d lied to me and mine
More stories to hide the thing within
Acted cold but too sensitive reality
Add more heaviness when ignoring the calls from in
So much more force to keep rigid order
Strap down a heart and prepare for a burst forth
Prison escape, exploding cells
Arterial walls break down as it swells
Grinchaloo who smacked himself to a wake up
This acting game I’m just not up to snuff
Prefer the snort and laugh to the hollow man’s bulletpoint

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